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My boyfriend seems to like his XBOX more than me?

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My boyfriend plays XBOX360 all day after school. He doesn’t have a job or anything. I on the otherhand, am an honors student at school, have a job, babysit, and do 4 extracurricular activities at school (one being Junior class president), and I always make time for him. With me being always busy, I want attention from my guy. I feel I deserve it. However, sometimes he’ll go home and play videogames for over an hour before he contacts me at all (usually via text). It sorta hurts! Because as someones girlfriend, you want your boyfriend to want to talk to you, right? But apparently he doesn’t care enough to text (or text again, should he text and I never get it) and talk to me.

What should I do?

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7 COMMENTS

  1. The big question is did he play video games before you guys started dating? If he did, it’s what he likes to do. Don’t try to change him because you don’t like them. You can’t like someone for who they are and then try to change everything about him. You definitely have a lot to learn about relationships. An hour is not a lot anyway. Plenty of guys and girls play for hours at a time. Either accept him for what he is or find someone else who’ll pay more attention to you.

  2. “Life’s a party for girls for the rest of your life, but for guys it ends when they graduate high school or college and they have to be adult and respectable, and wear a shirt and tie and all of that dull and boring stuff.” ROFL! I don’t know what dream world for girls Meilien is living in.

    It’s one thing to have a hobby (like xbox). But if he is not giving you the attention you need, then you need to find somebody else who will. I was lucky enough to find a wife (yes I’m MUCH older than you) who doesn’t mind my many hours of gaming but I make sure I give her whatever attention she needs too.

  3. An hour really isn’t a long time to play games for. Regardless, let me pose you a question: would you object as strongly if he read a book for an hour when he got home? Or if he listened to an album?

    If your objection is specifically about him playing games, then maybe you just need to accept that gaming is his hobby. I can understand that you might feel he’s wasting his time by playing games, as opposed to you being productive by working. But it’s his time to waste if he wants to. If you make him do things he doesn’t want to (or stop doing things he enjoys), he’ll just end up resenting you.

    Another thing I notice is that you say he *sometimes* plays for an hour before contacting you. So it’s not even every day? He occasionally starts doing something else before texting you? Doesn’t seem like a terrible crime.

    That’s not to say that you’re to blame or anything. Without seeing the situation first hand, I can’t tell whether he’s being self-absorbed and ignoring you, or you’re being unreasonable and demanding. Maybe he selfishly plays games all the time with no thought for you, or maybe you selfishly want him to spend all his time on you at your convenience. I can’t tell.

    In any case, the first thing to do when you have any kind of relationship problem is to talk to the other person. Does he know how you feel about this? Maybe he doesn’t realise there’s a problem, and it would be easy for him to fix if he knew. For instance, maybe he could text you before he starts playing. Maybe he doesn’t even realise you *want* him to text you. For instance, my girlfriend was upset that I didn’t text her some evenings, but the reason I didn’t text her was because I knew she was working and I didn’t want to distract her. Neither of us knew about the other’s point of view until we talked.

  4. Video games are like sports, and guys who like em will never understand why you feel inferior to a console. Its just boys being boys, but it doesnt mean he likes his xbox more than you. Its more of an unhealthy addiction then anything.

    TBH at times i have a problem where i can play and play and forget about the world around me completly. I feel like an * afterwards, and usually i get bitched at whether it be by GF or family or w/e.

    You can try to talk to him about it, but it probably wont change anything. The only things you can do is accept it, or leave him. but please dont let it bother you. if it does then you know what you have to do, because remember, you and your feelings come foremost. a relationship can never work if these issues affect the feelings of those in the relationship.

    As for the whole texting thing. thats a whole different issue related to the fact that men dont give two craps about texting or phoning. Its impersonal and can be very boring if you have any sort of attention deficit. Some guys rather quality then quantity and just cant grasp the importance of phoning their gfs.

    Men are from mars and woman are from venus, it sucks, but eventually age, and pain pave the way to a certain harmony that woman and men can have with each other. It takes sacrifice and experience, and is always a painful little journey.

    I know that just because he doesnt mean to hurt you that it doesnt make it alright, but you cant change a guy very easily, so sometimes it comes down to self exploration, and figuring out if its all worth it. Good vs. Bad, and mostly, how you feel at the end of the day.

  5. He’s a boy, and still in school, let him have his fun now. Life’s a party for girls for the rest of your life, but for guys it ends when they graduate high school or college and they have to be adult and respectable, and wear a shirt and tie and all of that dull and boring stuff.

    He’s got a few ore years of mooching and having fun left, then he’s out into the real word. Let the baby have his bottle.

    Guy’s tend to like games consoles as they are on of the few forms of escapisms that society allows boys to have. They they can’t do most of the stuff that girls can without society accusing them of being weak of homosexual. And they have no other real outlets for their emotions like girls do. They can’t read romance novels to feel happy or sad, or get dressed up to fell gorgeous, or any of that stuff. They are barely even allowed to share tier feelings with other guys. They get sports and computer games, and that’s about it.

    Telling him not to play computer games is like him telling you not to do all of the things that make you you.

    He will grow out of it. If he doens’t why not do your hair and put on some makeup and show him what he’s missing. I’m sure that he will put down the games controller for long enough to take you out somewhere. Though from the sound of it you’ve got so much on that I’m surprised that you have any time for him. He may actually be feeling left out. Like he’s playing second fiddle to your extra curricular activities. If you want him to make time fo ryou, then maybe you also need to make time for him?

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